My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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