if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
