Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
is that a dick in a sweater?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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