I smell stomach acid.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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