I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
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