is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
