There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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