this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
