I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
