Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Your dad touched me again.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
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Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
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Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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