my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize