I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
my poor anus
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
