The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
