The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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