It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
did i just pee glitter
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