He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
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My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
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I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize