i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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