She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
