I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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