You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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