I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
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You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
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One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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