I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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