I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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