Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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