And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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