Sry I called you an 8
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize
