Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
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im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Panties = found
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I did not marry a roomba.
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