Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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