Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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