you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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