Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma