Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
