just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize