once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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