he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
