They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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