i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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