addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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