Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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