He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
where am i from again
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
