so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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