Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Apparently you make a good broom.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Enjoy the penises
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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