I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
