I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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