Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
