I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
