Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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