is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
