I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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