Say something about gay babies.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
