I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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