she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
