listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
