i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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