All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
