dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
