apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
