I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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