Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I wish life had little blips of pornography
do herpes really smell.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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