I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
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